There is no doubt that having children is something that brings a lot of joy to our lives but that doesn’t mean that it is not without its challenges as well. For many of us, having children means having to endure temper tantrums, meltdowns and, from time to time, the need to clean up a messy accident. They can be quite frustrating at times, as most mothers would agree.
I’m not here to say that children are not worth having, in fact it is quite the opposite. Most of us would agree that there is nothing quite like the experience of having children and when we look back on those days, we don’t always remember the bad times but instead, we remember the good times. Children enhance our lives and, even though there can be some problems, it is well worth it in the end.
For many mothers, however, children seem to be bad all the time. The meltdowns, tantrums and other issues tend to change the mother into something that they thought they would never be. The problem is, when the children are around the mother, they seem to show their worst but then the mother hears news about the way that they are in school or around other people. It seems as if they are absolute angels when they are elsewhere but they show their worst when they are at home.
This can cause some others to scratch their head and wonder if they are talking about the same child.
I’m sure that you are not alone in your feelings. All it takes is a quick discussion with friends, family or even the Internet and you will find that kids are always a lot worse when they are around the mother. Is this just something that is happening to us or is there something actually behind it?
According to one parenting blogger, mothers are actually the garbage disposal of unpleasant emotions and feelings. She then puts the spin that children are worse for their mother and, in some little way, it helps us to feel better about life. The reason why this may be the case is because mothers tend to create a space that is big enough to allow their children to act naturally.
Is there truth to that possibility?
According to Dr. Heather Wittenberg, a child psychologist, “Children save their best – and worst – for us, as parents. They’re their “true selves” with us. It takes energy to “be good” and follow the rules – especially for young children – so when they get home, they let it all hang out. The good news is that their deepest love, affection, admiration, and goofiness are reserved for us, too.”
So if you have a little angel that has a meltdown in the middle of Target or does something else that make sure blood pressure rise, take heart.
You are doing a fantastic job. Your child feel safe around you and they know that you love them. So the next time they are bad, remember that you are a good mother.
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